New Year's Resolutions - Thoughts on guilt and shame

This time of year makes me think about my many broken New Year’s resolutions;  I’m going to eat more healthily, exercise more, be more organised, recycle thoroughly and  iron more than one change of clothes at a time etc etc.  If I last more than a few days then I consider that I’ve done well.  The broken resolutions aren’t really that significant to me (because I know I’ll break them anyway) and don’t really have an adverse impact on my life.  However, for individuals who are embarking on making the internal and external changes in order to move away from offending behaviour, the impact can be great
and the changes much more difficult that me attempting to eat more vegetables. 

Making someone “feel bad” about their behaviour isn’t how to motivate change, especially if it triggers any form of self loathing.  This is why when working with behavioural change it’s important to acknowledge that there’s a difference between guilt and shame.  Whereas guilt is specific to the behaviour and actions, shame relates negatively to the identity of that individual and not just the behaviour (see Giddens, 1991).  The desistance research suggests that individuals need to understand the past behaviour and why they aren’t like that now so to support developing a pro-social identity (see Maruna, 2001).  However, the negativity associate with internalising the shame can hinder or even stop the desistance process (e.g. Braithwaite, 1989).  In relation to my resolutions although I may feel guilt about returning to the past behaviour, I don’t internalise the actions as a reflection of my identity.  Therefore, I don’t feel shame and I’m more likely to keep trying to change. 

Mahatma Gandhi said “Hate the sin, love the sinner”, which is similar to separating offending behaviour from the identity of that person.  The research suggests that enabling individuals to move forward, but not forget their offending, is important in supporting desistance (e.g see links Weaver and McNeill, 2007).  As workers we can adopt a non-judgemental approach which could reduce the likelihood of us contributing to shame in individuals and therefore support and not hinder the desistance process.

Happy New Year and good luck with your New Year’s resolutions!